Everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe even a third, or fourth and a fifth. Nonetheless, mistakes are to be expected and forgiveness is needed for all.
I learned a valuable lesson this past year. While second chances are totally needed in this world, there actually needs to be a change in order for this second chance to be worthwhile. There’s no point in returning to something that was already broken. You’re already familiar with it, so why return to something or someone that didn’t work out the first time?
We return to things that are familiar for us because of the memory we hold of it. Whether its good or bad, indifferent, whatever, we still hold this romanticized view of the past that is just to damn good to let go. I’m guilty of this as well, just always returning to something that’s so familiar expecting it to change, but expecting different results from the same thing/person every time is insanity, literally.
There needs to be some tangible source of change. The person needs to understand that the reason you left the first time was because things didn’t work. So if you leave a second time and nothing has changed from the first time, there really shouldn’t be a reason to return for a lucky number 3.
Even if nothing has changed in the other person, there has been something that is significantly different. You know understand you are more worthwhile than the way you have been treated, and rather not repeat the same thing again. History has an interesting ability to repeat itself, but as cliche as it sounds, if you don’t learn from it, it’s going to keep repeating until you learn.
Once is okay. Twice, not so much. Three? Come on, now. Worth is found internally. It shouldn’t be someone else’s responsibility to find out how much your worth is. If that’s the case, you might as well just live in the supermarket. They have plenty of worth stickers and can place it for you.